I feel like I'm on a mental diet. I have my list of tasks of what I should do, say and think so that I will not hurt. Burn it all, take it down, delete, delete, delete. I want no part in it. Actually I want to drown in it. I want to bury my head under my pillow and scream, I want to cry, it is ok to cry, oh but it hurts so badly. The tears burn, the screams scratch at my heart.
So then I won’t cry, I will forget, why do I feel so selfish. I don't want you to hurt, I loved you so that I wish I could be the one that wipes your tears, makes your tummy warm and makes your spirit join your body once again so that we can dance together in the sky, bomp bomp bomp; are feet go in the night, on the moon, through the stars.
Why did we have to fall out of our crevice? Oh it wasn't meant to be, what a cliché but it explains a lot. Shit happens; hurts too much doesn't it, well the shit that happened hurt a lot. I feel as if I was finally rescued from a natural disaster and placed in a warm safe bed where the wind and the rain could never touch me again, and then the roof blew off and my warm safe place went spinning into the atmosphere.
I feel lost in the sky, I jump from star to star searching, is it there, will this mend my heart? Am I being selfish, fuck it, move on, you'll get over it. Oh let me be selfish for once, please just make the pain and the memories go away. They happened, I changed, I learned, why must it last so long.
Can I take a bath in Neosporin, will that heal the wound, if it would; I would do it, should I try it, I might laugh, will you laugh with me?
So many signs, signs, everywhere signs, wrecking my mind. Can I erase the signs, re program my brain, yes I can, that is what I will do, I will relate the signs to something else, and that is what I will do.
Oh why can't I erase the memory of making love to you, why did you touch me so, my cold frigid heart it was fine, why did you warm it up, make it feel safe just to throw it in the fire and have it burn. Maybe when the flames subside I will feel relief. I know I will feel the relief. I blow some cool air on my shoulder; that is where I place my heart you know, it’s on my shoulder. Is that why it was so cold and then so hot, it was too close to the harshness of this world?
So then I won’t cry, I will forget, why do I feel so selfish. I don't want you to hurt, I loved you so that I wish I could be the one that wipes your tears, makes your tummy warm and makes your spirit join your body once again so that we can dance together in the sky, bomp bomp bomp; are feet go in the night, on the moon, through the stars.
Why did we have to fall out of our crevice? Oh it wasn't meant to be, what a cliché but it explains a lot. Shit happens; hurts too much doesn't it, well the shit that happened hurt a lot. I feel as if I was finally rescued from a natural disaster and placed in a warm safe bed where the wind and the rain could never touch me again, and then the roof blew off and my warm safe place went spinning into the atmosphere.
I feel lost in the sky, I jump from star to star searching, is it there, will this mend my heart? Am I being selfish, fuck it, move on, you'll get over it. Oh let me be selfish for once, please just make the pain and the memories go away. They happened, I changed, I learned, why must it last so long.
Can I take a bath in Neosporin, will that heal the wound, if it would; I would do it, should I try it, I might laugh, will you laugh with me?
So many signs, signs, everywhere signs, wrecking my mind. Can I erase the signs, re program my brain, yes I can, that is what I will do, I will relate the signs to something else, and that is what I will do.
Oh why can't I erase the memory of making love to you, why did you touch me so, my cold frigid heart it was fine, why did you warm it up, make it feel safe just to throw it in the fire and have it burn. Maybe when the flames subside I will feel relief. I know I will feel the relief. I blow some cool air on my shoulder; that is where I place my heart you know, it’s on my shoulder. Is that why it was so cold and then so hot, it was too close to the harshness of this world?
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